What's the harm if I like him? For me, it's as innocuous as any other form of love. Why should I feel guilty about it? Because I am married? My marriage is nothing but the diamong ring that I wear. My marriage is nothing more than the surname that I got a couple of years back. My marriage is nothing but the hurt sentiments and lovelorn cravings, the hurt feelings that have never been cared for. So what's wrong if I let myself fall in love again and let myslef feel important once again?!
It makes me feel the flutter in my stomach when I sit next to him, the rush of blood to my face when our eyes get locked, the skip of heartbeats when we touch - in short, it's like time rewound. I had long forgotten how it feels when love strikes you. May be yes, I am not "supposed to" love anybody apart from my husband ... but then what happens to my humane desires? Do I lock then up in some dark corner of my heart and stop myself from revisiting those areas of carnal plasure just because my husband has no time for some private moments to share?
I waited. I waited for years for him to make me feel loved and wanted. I waited for the touch, the sensuous feel of breath on my skin, for those intense moments when love meets lust.
But now it's time for me to put an end to all speculations and expectations, and get going with what my heart says. I don't know where it will take me. But I know I won't let myself get carried away beyond a certain limit. And yes, as long as it lasts, it gives me reasons aplenty to feel happy and whisper in my mind: "Yes, I am in love!"
I will let myself fly, smile, sing and dream ... I will let myself be happy.
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